The problem with words

It’s been a while since I last posted or at least it feels that way because I’ve had 3 or 4 themes floating around in my head that I’ve been too busy to do anything about. Sound familiar? The reality of juggling life, right?

Anyway, there is a valid and positive intention to this post (I hope).

I had a few days off work recently and during the rare moments of spare time I had a wee look through some of my previous blog posts. Something unsettling occurred; just who on earth did I think I was?

It’s a question I’ve been openly asked quite often (not so the last 10yrs or so – more when I was in my late teens and early 20’s) and now the penny has dropped. I now understand why some people would’ve asked it and now appreciate how I may be perceived at times……..PRETENTIOUS and PATRONISING.

In other words, claiming superiority with great importance in what I have to say and being boastful, obnoxious and vain. Hindsight really can be a wonderful thing, especially as it now affords me the opportunity to put a few things right.

First and foremost; an apology. There are few things more annoying that some twat speaking at you, talking down to you and telling you what to do. I’m not apologising for what I’ve written and I’ll come to that in a bit, I’m apologising if I’ve made anyone feel as though they were reading the words of said condescending knob. For me life is precious, it’s about leaving your mark. So if I’ve done that in a bad way through my blog, a way that gets under someone’s skin then I find that regrettable because it has never been my intention and nor would it ever be.

It might not seem like the best thing to say to prove my point but…. I do believe that what I have to say is important. Otherwise I wouldn’t write it. What I write is simply my opinion. It is what I have learnt through reading and experience. None of it is fabrication or a colourful misrepresentation of the truth.

Stuart Mills alluded to this very thing recently (his opinion) when he posted in relation to a comment made by one of his readers i.e. me. And another recent post by a well known blogger reinforced my belief that it was time for me to clear the air.

The long and short of it is summarised by me stating this; what I write is what I wish someone would’ve told me 4 years ago. It’s as simple as that.

I’ve always felt that if I can commit to something and give it my all then I’ll do myself justice – I’ll come back to this. It isn’t just about running but is applicable to everything in life and it comes back to the ability to juggle things; keeping all the plates spinning.

Anyone who cares about being as good a parent as they can be will instantly get that – and if that statement makes you wonder ‘just who on earth does he think he is’ (again) – then alls I can say is that I know that there are too many people out there that don’t really care about being a parent as much as they should.

I’m afraid I never skirt around the truth and I have a habit of telling bullshitters exactly what I think of them. It’s just the way I am, I suppose I may be perceived as having a problem with fake people – I don’t see it that way though.

The way I see it, is that the vast majority of people who do ultras and who may even read this blog do not fit into that category. So whenever it might appear as though I’m going off on one again, it isn’t directed at you. It’s more me dealing with my issues; ‘externalising my anxieties’ as Richard (the Beruit Taxi) might say.

Ask yourself if you’ve ever met someone in your own life and been instantly taken in by them i.e. impressed – so much so that you strike up a bond with them, one you hope will last a long time. The positive side to this is that these individuals make you sit up straight and take account of your own life. They inspire you to do better. These individuals are precious and within the ultra running community there is countless numbers of them.

The problem comes when someone is exposed (think Lance Armstrong) or when it strikes you one day that all that stuff that didn’t quite add up was for a reason – the person in question was/is a bullshitter. All of what you were striving for (in association) becomes meaningless, you start to question who you are and begin to consider if your morals are sound. You see, as far as I’m concerned this goes way beyond the likes of Lance and has far more to do with the ever expanding fake society in which we live. Image is so important that some people can’t help themselves.

I follow that we are all equal; we come into life with our skin, bones and organs and will die with same. The only real difference is the mark we leave on others. Whether it is felt by a few or the masses - it is our legacy/lifetime actions that should define us.

I’ve always felt this way and had an urge to seize the day - without looking down on others. In my view, it shouldn’t matter where people come from, what housing estate they live in, what school they went too, who their parents are, how much money they don’t have, who they know and are friends with, their age, their lack of qualifications, their previous minor discretions, how they dress, how they speak etc – regardless, we are all capable of great things.

And by the very same token I don’t look up to anyone, and never have. Sure, there are a slack handful of people that I admire and respect but never once have I ever looked at someone and thought them wholly better than me simply because of their widely perceived standing. For example, I do not think of the Queen in any particular shining light nor of any politician, millionaire or person who might have a thousand friends on facebook.

The fact is, no matter how much money you’ve got or how privileged you are (or think you are) you are still as accountable as the next. As far as I’m concerned, although we are all unique, we are concurrently and paradoxically - the same, until we prove otherwise - by our actions, not our possessions. Your morals say far more about you than the style of your hair, the car you drive or what your occupation is.

So coming back to committing to something and doing myself justice; my actions are to do as best as I can at everything I take part in. I know that very statement will wind people up the wrong way – but look, that’s just the way I’m made. I can’t help it.

This is why I’m banging on about ‘The Four Pillars of Ultimate Performance’. It’s my hope and intention that this can be designed and subsequently used as a blueprint for any novice or aspiring ultra runner. Or again, if it makes anyone feel any better, it’s what I wish someone had told me 4yrs ago; it’s only my opinion.

I can understand if some people look at my blog and wonder who the hell do I think I am. After all, I’ve done nothing in this game and won zilch. However, I think that stance says a lot more about those people than it does me.

I guarantee that 2013 will be a very different year in terms of my ultra running performances and it’s all going to be due to the knowledge I have amassed over the last 4years; something I am willing to share. How many of those people would want to do that?

What I can say is that I am very unlikely to offer some magic advice or add to the vast array of literature that already exists. It’s just me and my thoughts supplemented with what others say on certain areas. I have a good idea of what to write next and how the four pillars will take shape and I could be right or may be wrong. What I will do though is put the stuff I know and have learnt down in layman’s terms and make it as brief as possible.

Now think back to that scene in Dead Poets Society.

For those who can’t remember or who have never seen the film; the teacher (Robin Williams) makes a name for himself by inspiring his students to think for themselves – among the young people their parents and his peers. There is a tragedy late on in the film that spurs the parents and some of the teachers to apportion blame to the teacher. The Head Teacher ensues to bully some of the students into taking sides, his side, in a bid to get rid (of the teacher).

Being so young and impressionable and given the strict culture of the era it is easy to understand why the boys all folded to the pressure. However, at the end of the story they each individually manage to muster the courage to make a stand in support of their hero.

What do you notice?

For me, courage aside (i.e. it is a given for me – and wish it was for everyone despite what they claim) I noticed that there were a lot of boys still sitting and with their back to their previous teacher. This for me is the problem with words. Sometimes they mean everything; some people get it and some don’t. Such is life.

Ultra Motivation

Q; what is the universal language?

A; a smile.

Q; what makes the ‘world go round’?

A; the Sun, money, love? I propose the answer is altogether more simple (ok, and complex);

EMOTION

Our emotions control what we do, shape our values and give us purpose. Their derivative is a place we have limited control over, often shaped by our life experiences, especially those formed at an impressionable young age. Without emotion, money wouldn’t matter and love would be a mystery.

To maximise the benefits from an understanding of the four pillars of ultimate performance each pillar must first be stripped of its impurities; in much the same way that a young army recruit is taken to his lowest possible ebb prior to reconstruction.

So whilst motivation can be discussed as a separate entity it has it’s foundation in emotion, a so-called plinth if you like. When you discover what really motivates you, you will better grounded to start work on the subsequent pillars and then achieve your overall aims. Thus you should consider the psychology of your own emotions.

‘What is motivation?’

I googled this question (to get me started) and at the very top of the page I got the following;

1. The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way.
2. The general desire or willingness of someone to do something.

Whilst far from being a panacea, this definition fits with my thread so for now I will begin with a story to illustrate what it really means.

Blackie

There was once a young lad I knew very well. His first 12 years were less than ideal. Physically, mentally and sexually abused by his alcoholic, drug addicted mother, he had been in and out of care since he was 4 years old – when the courts decided that his mother (who didn’t want him) should be granted his custody. 

She had brainwashed him into believing that he would never be loved, never mind liked – and his early experiences confirmed this. The other kids didn’t want to play with a ‘blackie’ so from as early as he could remember, he would wander the streets all day rarely returning until midnight – not that it was of any consequence to his guardian.

Her issues were invariably taken them out on him. His sister was treated like his mothers sister and the pair of them picked on him relentlessly. In addition to the emotional pain he was living through daily, he witnessed his mother prostituting herself, trying to kill herself (several times), being taken in and out of mental health clinics and also spending time inside for attempted murder.

At 12 years old, his father got custody of him (his sister thankfully stayed where she was). When he moved to his new school it was noted that he was 4foot 9inches tall, weighed 4.5 stone and had size 3 feet. He was also classed as having learning difficulties.

By the end of his 3^rd year in High School, he had grown a foot taller, doubled his weight, tripled his foot size and shot up from the foundation level in all subjects to near the top. He had surprised everyone (except himself). He was a grafter and by this time had bagged 4 part time jobs. As a consequence he felt even more independent - save the roof over his head and the meals that were provided.

However, he had become ready to move on. Why? Because he was petrified of his dad; here was a man that despite his good intentions could not break free from his own issues for the good of his son. He was quite handy with his fists and needed little excuse for beating on the boy.

And to think, all that was hoped for was a safe refuge; somewhere he could finally break free of his mental anguish but it just wouldn’t stop. On the outside everyone came to know him as a likable guy, mostly because of his attention seeking behaviour but others had him marked and knew he was vulnerable.

As far as achievements were concerned, his first came when he was 16 years old. Having just mastered the alphabet sequence a year earlier, he was awarded an A grade in English Higher. This win set about a principle that was already forming well – to be rewarded in life you must work hard because there really are no shortcuts.

Fast forward 20 years and I’ve done alright for myself; detached house; married for 12 years with two kids; got a permanent job; had the privilege of teaching, encouraging and influencing like minded individuals and benefited from same (whilst serving in the British Army); travelled the world and learnt about many cultures; I contribute to my local community in my present day to day job and have raised money for local charities; participated in a conglomerate of challenging activities and whilst it has been anything but plain sailing, I’ve made some relatively note-worthy achievements.

I use that word ‘relative’ because where I am now is a very different place from where I could’ve, perhaps even should’ve, been.

At this juncture, I would ask that no-one feels any sympathy for me because there is a point to my openness. Those years have defined me; there are times when I able to see them as a gift. Ok, so I’d have preferred that some of what happened – didn’t, but I can’t change any of that now.  

You see this background is the reason I have for acting or behaving in such a way;

1. It is the reason I get annoyed with people who complain about what I perceive to be trivial matters;
2. The reason I am openly frustrated with laziness, incompetence and a lack of leadership from those so obliged;
3. It is the reason that I barely converse with anyone unless I have something important to say – and when I do, I can go on a bit;
4. It has shaped my values – honesty, integrity, conviction, a distrust of vanity and privilege, a hatred of corruption and criminal activity etc;
5. It is the reason that (behind closed doors) I am incredibly sensitive to moving films and music – often crying my eyes out;
6. And it has given me an insight to real pain; I will return to the relevance of this point later.

So according to google, I’m half way to understanding what motivates me. I’ve broken things down, analysed them and made some conclusions. I could be wrong but the hard work is actually still to do. I’d advise you read the entire post before you try to hone in on your motivation - you need the whole picture.

It’s now time to consider the desire (or willingness) for running an ultra.

Now you need to know about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. So in layman’s terms;

• Intrinsic – doing something for you. Sounds like you might have a grasp on that; right? Mmnnn, I’ll explain in a bit.

• Extrinsic – doing something because of the associated external reward e.g. money, applause, fame, love, the associated image…….. You’ve got a handle on this one, eh? Easy.

To get to the bottom of this, what better place to start than the pouring out above?

What’s this all about, you may ask yourself? Is this guy simply after approval; some kind acceptance? As much as it irks me, I have to admit that in some sense it is true. In fact the truth is, most people have this basic need, and it even defines some.

If I’m brutally honest I would say that about 20% of what drives me is for the associated adulation (extrinsic). I’m not happy about admitting that, in fact I’d rather not. But if we’re going to iron out motivation and uncover what really drives a person we have to be 100% honest with ourselves. By doing so we will not be found wanting when the cracks begin to form – as they so often do during the latter stages of an ultra.

If you want the very best from yourself (and its not just a social gathering), you have to be absolutely certain about your commitment to an ultra before you start. Therefore, it is of huge comfort to me knowing that even if I was the only person on the planet I would still want to train for and run an ultra as fast as my ability would let me. This is where my other 80% of motivation lies.

I am mostly intrinsically motivated. It’s who I am, in no-matter what I do; this drive is equally applicable to everything I am involved with – which is somewhat (and unintentionally) unfortunate for those I interact with. When you are intrinsically motivated nothing else matters. It is felt as a burning desire and is way more powerful than extrinsic motivation.

In life I HAVE TO BE as good a husband and father as I possibly can be. You can probably guess why. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect, far from it – but I will keep learning and keep trying to be better. It’s the reason I walked away from a flying career in the Army 8 years ago and is why I now work where I do.

Latterly, it is my driving ambition to be as good an ultra runner as I can possibly be. My love of this sport comes from the associated pain. We would all agree that there comes a time during an ultra when we are forced to confront ourselves at our rawest form. Ironically, this is my sanctuary.

The spin off from all of this is that my ‘background’ and ‘desire’ also drive me to encourage the best from others. When I witness people around me not trying hard enough or giving up, I am deeply disappointed. I feel they are losing grasp of what really matters; their only chance. Life is too short; it’s not a practice run.

In a weird quirk of fate, I read Carilyn Johnson’s blog 2 days ago - it just so happened to be discussing her own motivation;

“If we quit chasing our dreams because we are fulfilled, or ready to move onto something else, then that is fantastic! Well done! But if we quit because we are tired of the fight, tired of failing again and again, then we are cheating ourselves, and all those around us who are gaining inspiration from what we do day in and day out.”

You see where I’m going with this, yet? Running an ultra extrinsically can be thought of as doing it for the wrong reasons. Am I wrong? Look, I know I’m a novice runner but I contend that the longer distance one runs the less extrinsic it becomes, (and should be).

Running an ultra extrinsically is essentially attention seeking and mirrors a selfishness and weakness in ones being. And whilst it reflects a growing culture, it will not provide the deep meaningful reward available by running intrinsically. 

Why does Usain Bolt sprint?

Why does WilliamSichel run? Why do any of the best of them (ultra runners) run?

Yes, I know these examples are hardly based on rigorous research and can be easily taken as convenient examples to illustrate my opinion. But how many people would agree with my perception?

To find out what motivates you and then see if you’re suited to running ultra’s I propose you ask yourself the following questions;

1. Do you care what people (other than those closest to you) think of you? 
2. What would you be doing if you had all the money in the world?
3. Do you truly know yourself?
4. When you fail, what is your gut reaction?
5. Are you completely honest with yourself all of the time?
6. Would you agree that the right thing to do is often the most difficult? And…..
7. Under those circumstances which direction do you most take?

In your journey of discovering motivation, I urge you to be totally honest with yourself. I’ve done what I can to break into what I call the first of the four pillars of ultimate performance.

However, although I will continue to discuss motivation in the future, up next will be one of the other pillars; mental strength, physical conditioning and/or energy and nutrient timing.

The four pillars of ultimate performance

 

1.       Motivation,

2.       Mental strength,

3.       Physical conditioning, and,

4.       Energy and nutrient timing.

How many athletes blog about these fundamentals?

Sure there are lots of interesting ones; those that inspire and many which cause me to laugh/smile/take note. At the moment though, I’m just frustrated.

I’ve been looking for answers since I started blogging but found the number of elite athletes engaging fully with their followers to be disappointing. As a consequence, I’m no-where near as active as I used to be; only reading blog’s to catch up with interesting individuals and for a bit of entertainment whilst eating lunch.

To my knowledge no-one affords each of the above points an equal footing when blogging.

Having said that, I can think of one good reason why not; we are all unique. This is the very reason that aspiring athletes must find what works for them and then extrapolate to fulfil their potential. Being cynical, I suggest that others hold knowledge as highly prized and are therefore unwilling to share their ‘secrets’ with perceived ‘competition’.

However…

…and without going into my own motivation (just yet), I’m of the strong belief that we each have a very short time frame within which to achieve the things we want to. Life might seem like an endless merry-go-round of fun and frolics to some but I’m acutely aware that it really is not.

Until someone is willing to share absolutely everything they have come to learn about the four pillars of ultimate performance then committed non-elite’s (like me) face the prospect of endless setbacks halting their ability to perform at anything like the ability they are capable of.

Therefore, over the course of the next 6 months I’m going to make it my blogging mission to define and explain the four pillars of ultimate performance. For now though;

Motivation

This is top of my list because without it a person has no inclination to go beyond their comfort zone and this is what must be done if one is to achieve anything. Achievements are subjective; it’s in tandem with ‘one person’s rubbish is another person’s treasure’. They are based on human perceptions and almost always involve a struggle. It doesn’t matter what level you perceive yourself to be at, you need motivation to attain, sustain and move on from that level.

We’re not looking at elite athletes here, we’re only concerned with being the very best that we can be. You may be born with it or be taught it; someone or something may inspire you; a life changing event may be the root cause of it. However, if you don’t have it and whenever motivation wanes, failure and fatigue soon follow.   

Mental strength

Although closely linked, I feel this warrants separation from motivation. The two compliment one another very well but I believe one can be worked on whereas the other is slightly more innate. Mental strength is especially critical for ultra runners.

For example, I know of many people who perform far better than me over short distances; get them out for an ultra and many of them unexpectedly wilt. Clearly, there are a lot of variables to consider but when I have entered the same ultra over-trained, injured and then consequently suffer with sickness and diarrhea I’m left to conclude that the reason I have crossed the finish line before them is because I have worked on my mental strength and they have not.  

Physical conditioning

Anyone reading this should at least have half an idea of what this involves. But do we really? I’ve made mistake after mistake with this over the last 4 years. I’d like to call myself a runner now but the truth is I have not yet had a single performance which I am content with.

For this very reason I’ve hired the help of a coach. I’ll discuss this topic at great length in subsequent posts.

Energy and nutrient timing

Gone are the days of simply eating healthy. Relatively, there are far more elite athletes competing today than there have ever been. The stakes have risen beyond the stratosphere, so much so that energy and nutrient timing is seen as ‘their’ level.

Nutrition is the last bastion of elite athletes. But we are not elite, we just want to be the very best that we can be. Thus it is my intention to share these incredible insights with everyone.

In summary

I’m willing to bet that in addition to a committed few, a collection of very experienced runners will have read this post and had a metaphorical light switched on. This is the key for all of us.

As a slight side issue, I know of some who pass of the information of others as their own in a distasteful attempt at self promotion (think facebook). To dispel any notion of this I will ensure (as always) that credit is given where its due.

So (aside from being as good a husband and father as I can be) it is my ambition to be able to help others achieve their aims whilst concurrently seeking to be the very best ultra runner that I can be. The next 6 months will chart my progress throughout which I will blog explicitly about the four pillars of ultimate performance.

 

The curse of a novice runner

TIRED

That’s my one word summary for the last 4 weeks. And I’m less than excited for how the next 4 is going to turn out. So this post is a wake-up call for me……and for anyone else wondering what to do when ‘overtraining’ sets in. I’ll talk more about that phrase in a bit.

First things first; I’ve regrettably pulled out of the High Peak 40. It would’ve been no fun in the condition I’m in and besides what I need now is rest rather than stepping up the training.

What’s tragic about this is that 2012 was supposed to be a year for staying away from hard efforts and for concentrating on building a base for 2013 and beyond. I’m in the final year of my distance learning honours degree so the intention of training easy all year seemed to suit the circumstances. It didn’t quite work out like that. Why? Because I’m a tit, that’s why!

Having arrived at the present day with such an epic fail I’ve decided to look for clues to find out where it has all went wrong. Therefore a 4 year summary of training and challenges (with conclusions) follows. When you do this, you’ll be as surprised as I am;

2008

This was my inauguration year to running. However, I look back in horror at the things I was doing. Let’s take a step back;

Q.        What is one supposed to do when wanting to peak for a race? (in my case the Highlander Mountain Marathon (HMM) followed by the Original Mountain Marathon (OMM) later that year)

A.         It’s quite simple really; build a big base of running history, the bigger the better then sometime before the event, say 6-8 weeks, sharpen up a bit with some specific speed work and then a couple of weeks out (maybe 3), taper into it.

Here’s what I was doing and is what I continued to do until last July;

·         Upper body weight training; 3 times per week,

·         Leg weight training; once a week,

·         Cycling; usually 10miles per day and the odd 40miler at the weekend – note; on a heavy mountain bike, not a road bike,

·         Fast, up-tempo runs and hill rep’ runs,

·         Easy runs, usually once a week,

·         Fell running (trying to run); usually most weekends, and,

·         Plyometrics and high intensity circuit training during the last few weeks of any training schedule.

Anyone spot the obvious error?

No base, too much high intensity work, too much stuff that wasn’t running and not enough running. I averaged 33miles per week with a peak of 54 and a low of 3. I had about a month to build up for the HMM and its fair to say I left that event absolutely shell shocked. In fact, it took me 2 months after that failure to pull a pair of trainers on again, this time to start preparing for the OMM. And yes, you guessed it I simply did the exact same stuff, only I worked harder!

In the end the weather saved us. The 2008 OMM was cancelled mid way through due to the worst conditions experienced during its 40 year history. Rob and I did quite well but in my heart I’m not convinced day 2 would gone well as I was pretty goosed by the close of play.

I began studying a distance learning honours degree (Building Surveying) in December of this year.

2009

Instead of catching the running bug, I had scared myself witless. The 6 months following the 2008 OMM were spent doing whatever I felt like, mostly mountain biking and upper body weight training – not that any of it was consistent or part of any training programme. Rob had managed to convince me we would be good for the Saunders Mountain Marathon in June followed by the 2009 OMM (always late October).

The truth is I love loved running in the hills. It was always such an adventure and exhilarating on the downs. Also, I seemed to be quite good at going up. So I set about training – doing the exact same stuff again.

For the Saunders I averaged 33 miles per week with a peak of 42 and a low of 3. Day 2 ended terribly for the both of us as we ran out of food with about 2-3 hours still to do. Nevertheless, we both really enjoyed this mountain marathon. Afterwards I took a month off training.

For the 2009 OMM I averaged 31miles per week with a peak of 46 and a low of 14. Rob had to pull out of this and a guy from my work filled in. After this mountain marathon I vowed that I would not spend a single minute of my spare time with James ever again.

I am a map reading instructor (from my Army days when I was awarded top student) and am Mountain Leader trained, I’m also an experienced navigator and was at the time a DofE instructor, supervisor and assessor. In short, I tend to make less navigational mistakes than others.

This was James’ maiden voyage into mountain marathon and despite his very good fitness I had serious misgivings about him replacing Rob. Remember, I work with this guy. Unfortunately he is simply not cut out for working in the construction industry, certainly not from a designing and contracting position anyway.

So anyway throughout day 1, James was adamant that he knew which direction to go which invariably happened to be at least 90 degrees from the direction I wished to go. Let’s just say, he wouldn’t take no for an answer. On day 2 (after the total disaster that was day 1) I did not allow him an opinion as he was forced to try his hardest to keep up with me. For day 2 alone, we were placed in the top 20.

I have thus far stuck to my word and steered clear of James. I wish the same could be said for him………..James, if you read this, I have nothing against you personally, but, get your own life. I hope you’ve now stopped using my stories and passing them off as your own.

2010

Rob and I started training for the Bob Graham Round as soon as the new-year kicked in. I had done nothing since the OMM, no running whatsoever, but I was confident of achieving this aim. Nothing in the training philosophy changed;

In the 28 weeks of training until I managed a successful attempt (2^nd go) I averaged 30miles per week with a peak of 54 and a low of zero (four times). What these stats don’t tell is the number of days I was bedded down with illness.

Of the 28 weeks I was ill for 11 of them. I had managed 3 chest infections and a bout of food poisoning but more importantly I became a member of the Bob Graham Round 24 hour club. Rob managed it at the first time of asking in an admirable time of 21hrs 29mins.

I was unable to do anything for 3 months after the BGR due to a strange heel injury I had picked up. I was also troubled by an injury forced upon me whilst playing football – a favour to some mates. Nevertheless, Rob and I had a sights on a challenge that we had unfinished business with; the HMM.

In October and with confidence having become a member of the club, I began training for the event which was 6 months away. Again the same training ensued. After all, it had finally proved its worth!

2011

The HMM was a disaster and so too was the Fling - 2 weeks later. Up to the event I had averaged 31miles per week (for 28 weeks of training) with a high of 58 and a low of zero (two times). I was knackered weeks before I even toed the start line of the HMM and the football injury, now diagnosed as a posterior impingement, meant that fell running was being seriously impeded. I was forced to look deep into my soul following these two events.

Privately, I had ambition. Was this based on naivety? For the first time, I began to believe it. I now came to realise that some people were born runners and some people were confined to trying, forever; hence the title of the blog which was conceived around this time and inspired by the likes of John Kynaston and Debs MC.

Following the Fling, I read as much as I could. A friend had told me about the ‘bible’ for runners whilst on a training run – none other than the ‘Lore of Running’. I read as many blogs as I could. I didn’t have a coach and I didn’t have the time to be a member of a running club (Hons Degree and family commitments). I also did a lot of high intensity cross training and cycling up to the end of July. Here, it was time to put what I had discovered to the test. From now on I was going to train differently;

·         I would log my training AND feelings on a daily basis,

·         I would include walking breaks during my long runs,

·         I would be comfortable with running slowly and would do it more often,

·         I would include walking 3 mornings a week (2miles with a 40llb pack on),

·         I did only one high intensity run per week – an all out 4 miler,

·         I did one high intensity cross training session per week, and,

·         I added a supplement called Neovite towards the end of my training and began taking beetroot juice at around the same time.

Rob and I ended up doing the WHW late November though it was not my intention when I started the programme. Unfortunately Rob began to suffer around 40miles into the challenge due to freezing storm conditions which affected his vulnerability imposed by a recent chest infection.

I had entered the challenge myself in a less than perfect condition. There was something wrong with my right hip flexor and my right knee. I began to suffer myself having been on my feet for 24 hours. We were forced to walk more than half of the distance and again two close mates overcame another challenge to finish with some good memories to last.  

Up to this challenge I had averaged 42miles per week (over 17 weeks, not including the WHW) with a peak of 70 and a low of 10.

2012

The injuries I had before I even did the WHW were seriously affected by it. I spent the following four months in rehabilitation. I was able to do some training though – mostly the old favourites - cycling and upper body weight training.

My hons degree had seriously suffered in 2011 and this (2012) was now the final year. Regardless of performance (or lack of it) during the last 3 years, all the marks come from this one. Additionally I had always presumed that 2012 would be a year out of training; I was going to be recovering from my operation on the posterior impingement and be left with plenty of time to study.

Well as ever, things never work out as you expect them too. My second opinion turned out badly; fell running, proper fell running, is a thing of memories now. I can still run though. OK, so 2012 would be a base year.

I had never done base training, real base training. This was the perfect year for it. I would steer clear of the pressure of competition and knuckle down with the studies whilst building an easy, relaxed base. Then in 2013 I would be ready and fresh for a new challenge.

UP TO NOW

In 13 weeks of training I have averaged 44miles per week with a high of 65 and a low of 17. The trouble is base training only lasted 3 weeks. I agreed to help others by pacing for their challenges and got into a rut of running myself into the ground with no recovery.

For the last 4 weeks I have been exhausted and unable to fully concentrate at work. Up until two weeks ago I had been having trouble sleeping and for a while now I’ve had diarrhoea, despite eating healthily.

I think it finally clicked (that something was wrong) when I paced a friend over leg 1 of the BGR almost two weeks ago. He was noticeably stronger than me despite the fact that we were going at what should’ve been a very easy pace. Tapering aside, I know that 9 days out of 10, I am the stronger of the two. From that point, I’ve really struggled to maintain a decent pace when running.

I’ve virtually had two weeks off training and have been sleeping on average 10hrs per night. Despite this, I’m still getting up looking like death warmed up and really feeling like I need to stay in bed. The thought of any training wilts me further.

I dragged my sorry carcase out for a 12.5miler yesterday and have dropped from just over 8 minute mile-ing for a local hilly route, done at an easy/base pace, to just over 9min/miles for the exact same effort. I’m down by a minute per mile and am utterly devastated.

So where do I think it has gone wrong?

The figures above don’t look all that good, granted. But remember, I’ve been cycling and weight training concurrently. I’ve also had life commitments like everyone else, not to mention my blasted hons degree – studying up to 30 hours a week where commitments allow. It’s also worth pointing out that a lot of the mileage up to mid 2011 is done in the fells and includes a lot of going up and down.

Indeed, the reason my average mileage appears to have leaped up by a third in the past year is simply because I’ve not been running in the fells and have therefore had more time to run locally. That said I’m surprised at the figures. I’ve went weeks at a time doing approx 60miles for the average to be ruined by a week wiped out by some mystery illness.

This has been a recurring trend throughout the years and I think its time I realised that I have a propensity to do too much. I think I managed this fairly well throughout the training for the WHW and I believe it was because I was logging everything on a daily basis.

CONCLUSIONS

This post is far from the detailed research analysis it could’ve been but then again I have more pressing things to get on with – studying for my exams for example – and besides, this has taken me the best part of 9 hours to compile! Here are some bullet points which I hope will make easy reading;

·         I have never managed to do any more than 3 weeks of pure base training i.e. running with no anaerobic interruptions throughout the entire phase. Considering I have been trying to be a runner for nearly 4 yrs this is utterly compelling.

·         Base training should be as long as you can possibly make it; this must be my number one priority for the next programme. Why? Because the better your base, the more resilient you will be to speed training and therefore more likely to peak for your chosen event.

·         I do too many other things besides just running. Is there any need for cycling up to 100km per week on the turbo trainer? I naively thought this would help me build more endurance and keep me free from running injuries. Eh no, it just made me more tired.

·         What’s with the intense leg weights that I seem so stuck with? Anyone who knows me will agree that I’ve got an arse and quads like a black power lifter - WTF? Perhaps it’s high time I just did more running instead of trying to build legs that I think will spring me up and down hills better that a mountain goat!

·         I’m too heavy (see above). Bradley Wiggins has been at the top of his game for a while but even he managed to shed 10kg, yes 10kg, prior to doing the Tour de France. And what’s more astonishing is that he trimmed this from his muscle composition – those that were deemed as not required, including some from his legs!

·         The 24 hour cut off for the Bob Graham Round is easy. If I can do it considering the lack of training I managed to do then most ordinary club runners can do it too. The reason most don’t is because they fail in their head before they’ve even set foot in the hills – that and the huge commitment needed to learn and train on the route. I think 21hrs30mins would be a better benchmark for a good standard of runner. I suppose that is an admission that I’m not in that category. It’s high time I stopped waxing lyrical about me being a member of the BGR 24hr club.

·         Be comfortable doing recovery runs. They’re still mileage after all and important ones. In fact in base you should always run within yourself. Every second week, you can maybe go for one up-tempo run but keep it short and keep it below 85% effort.

·         Use a log to record your thoughts and performances. Don’t give too much care for your early stuff except to try and stay fresh most of the time. When I trained for the WHW I changed the programme weekly depending how I felt my adaptation was going. Training for that was the best it had ever been despite the various errors I made.

·         Read and contribute to others if you can. There are many elite runners out there who like to talk about how their race went and about how honoured they feel to be a part of such a wonderful experience but there are not many that want to help others with tips and advice, like Ian Sharman and Debbie MC who do, for example. I wouldn’t have learnt anything (and some would say that is still the case) had it not been for some of the best bloggers – I’ll share my favourites at some point in the future.

·         Don’t do too much high intensity work and if you’re serious about achieving your goals wise up and do something that’s specific and structured to your chosen event. For too long now, I’ve been flogging myself to death in the hope that the harder I work the better I’ll become. Utter bollocks. I need help with this so it is something I intend to bottom out before I start training again. Here’s the title of some books I’ve purchased and will get round to swatting up on once I’ve finished my exams (mid sept);

o   The runners body; runners world. A quick look through this book tells me this is a great book if like me you are analytical.

o   Running Anatomy; J Paleo, P Milroy. All the different muscles and body composition of a runner explained and a guide to injury prevention.

o   Brain training for runners; M Fitzgerald. Specific to marathon distance and below but a quick look tells me that many of the principles can be applied to ultra runners and lets face it, it’s bound to apply to a novice like me.

o   Relentless forward progression; B Powell. I would advise against buying this book if you’re the same as me. I intended to skim through it and read the whole thing in about two hours. It is simply not detailed enough for those wishing to learn and those who have spent a while already doing so. That said, the author runs an excellent website (irunfar) and has made a massively positive contribution to the ultra community worldwide.

·         Drop the ego. I’m a nobody just like most people. When I look at Geoff R, Anton K, Kilean J and countless others, I envy their spirit, their desire to be at one with nature. I wish I could run without the pressures of life but as a father of two and a shit paying job for an inept organisation in a dead end part of the world, that’s totally unrealistic. It’s time to get real. In fact it’s long over due.

·         IF I drop all the unnecessary stuff I will be into unchartered territory. When I resume training again I will no longer have my hons degree hanging around my neck. These are reasons to be optimistic. After all, it’s not all been bad, I’ve raised some money for local charities, shared great training days and challenges with my best mate, conversed with some wonderful people along the way and learnt an awful lot too.

All the other stuff that I’ve learnt is specific to certain phases of training. It is further my intention to disclose all this stuff when I start training for next years Highland Fling. I’ve said I can do this in sub 9 hours. That was my alter ego talking; it’s what I want to do. I think I’ll get under 9hrs30mins and if the training is text book I stand a chance of going under 9. But when has it ever been that? For anyone? From where I am right now, if I have another disaster in the months coming up I think my wannabe running days could well be over.

I’ll leave this post with a quote taken from the Lore of Running (pg 485);

The single most important reason most runners are prone to overtraining is, I believe, that we lack the ability to make an objective assessment of our ultimate performance capabilities. We simply will not accept that we are mortal and that we have a built-in performance range beyond which training and other interventions cannot take us.